Review: A Dance With Dragons by George R. R. Martin.

While most people probably only became aware of George R. R. Martin's "A Song of Ice and Fire" sequence with the launch of the HBO TV adaptation, "A Game of Thrones" this year, fans of the original novel sequence have been waiting for 6 years for the most recent book, "A Dance With Dragons", not without some bitterness from some of them.
Now that it is finally here, how is it?
Well, it's basically everything you'd expect of Martin from the previous novels: a somewhat dark, mostly realistic medieval fantasy, which doesn't flinch from depicting the worst kind of people, as well as those who aspire to being the best. (Martin is not lacking in cynicism sufficiently to believe in perfect heroes, although he's happy for people to claim to be such.)
Of course, the grittiness of the setting suffers somewhat by comparison with more modern works that attempt the same thing: in the 15 years since the first book, "A Game of Thrones" was first published, writers have been inspired enough by its then refreshing grit, and tendency to kill off even apparently major characters, and now "A Dance With Dragons" is just another novel with such a setting.
Where Martin still excels, however, is in the complexity of his plotting and internal referencing; multiple long-running plot lines continue in not entirely expected ways (I don't think anyone who had read the previous books would quite predict Tyrion Lannister's story in this novel), and long-buried comments are referenced for the awake reader. (I must admit, while I was proud of spotting some of these, I missed others due to the 6 year gap between this book and my reading of the previous one, and even missed something that I suspect Martin expected to be obvious in the later sections in Winterfell...). Sometimes this gets a bit much, and while Martin has apparently tried to build in a few more hints for the reader in deference to that long inter-book stretch, it is quite possible for a reader to miss one thing while trying to remember just who that other guy was, or what that prophecy was about, precisely.
There is also some lovely use of the chapter titles; with so many viewpoint characters, Martin has traditionally named his chapters after the viewpoint character in each one. However, several characters with changing personal identities in "A Dance with Dragons" get chapters with variable names - the name of each reflecting their particular self-image in the chapter in question. In one case in particular, this underscores a particular case of self-rediscovery that would be awfully cruel to spoil for those who've not read the book yet.

Is it worth buying? On balance, yes; although, as with many multibook sequences, this kind of recommendation is moot; readers of the previous books will buy it anyway to find out what happens to their favorite characters (especially because some of them haven't been seen for a whole book, due to the way Martin split up plot between "A Dance With Dragons" and "A Feast For Crows"), and those who haven't read the rest of the series would be lost without doing so (or perhaps waiting for the first 4 seasons of the HBO TV series...).
The only consideration now is how long the final two novels will take to produce - with the TV series using a novel's plot per series, Martin can't afford to take 12 years to put out the two of them; if two novels even prove sufficient to complete the whole narrative (originally a trilogy, then a quartet, a sextet and now a septet, the amount of plot that apparently remains still seems too big for only two novels to complete).

Bout Report: The Celtic Nations of Roller Derby (Glasgow vs Dublin & Tiger Bay)

Perhaps wishing to restore the proper order of things after reaching out to the Auld Enemy by playing London in their previous bout, the 2nd of July saw Glasgow Roller Girls host a Celtic Nations double-header, taking on both Dublin Roller Girls and Cardiff's Tiger Bay Brawlers in a pair of exciting bouts.
(The official GRG bout reports are here and here. )


Glasgow Roller Girls "Maiden Grrders" vs Dublin Roller Girls

Ireland's first Roller Derby league, Dublin Roller Girls were formed in late 2009. In the first bout of the day, Glasgow set their 'B' team, the Maiden Grrders, against them, coming out with a narrow victory of 90 pts home to 73 away.

Skateout link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9QVZhkyzL_I

1st Period

The first jam of the bout is often a slightly indecisive affair, the teams trying to take each other’s measure. Both jammers had some trouble getting through the pack, with Dublin’s Jessica Rammit (<3) and GRG’s Love Hurts (117) both managing good last minute takedowns. In the end, it was DRG jammer B A Blockus (18) who made it through the pack first, with GRG’s Fightin’ Torque (531) unable to score. The GRG blocking was hardly ineffective, however, as B A failed to attain more than 3 points, despite the jam running to the full 2 minutes.

GRG's Fighting Torque (531) knocked down at the last moment by Dublin's Jessica Rammit (<3)

Dublin's B A Blockus (18) meeting an identical fate thanks to GRG's Love Hurts (117)

Zombilina slips through the gaps made by her teammates...

The second jam, however, saw GRG’s Zombilina (15) helped to Lead Jammer by nice blocking work by Bashin’ Berserker (83) and Pivot Scara Leigh (616), and a sprint to escape Dublin’s Belle for Leather (245). Whilst DRG’s Kim McKazi (80) managed to leave the pack soon after, she also managed to get herself sent to the sin-bin, handing the GRG a power jam. Despite spirited blocking by Dublin’s Lil’ Edee (9) and Peppy Nephrine (49), Zombilina stormed through the pack multiple times, bringing home 14 points before calling the jam just as the Dublin jammer returned to the track.

...and outpaces a last second block by Dublin's Belle For Leather

Kim McKazi just before leaving the pack, and the track, en-route to the penalty box.

And Lil' Edee and Peppy Nephrene aren't quite enough to stop Zombilina in her tracks.

Jess E Ska alone behind the jammer line, apart
from jammer ref Cherry Fury, of course...

Somehow,  Kim managed to get herself sent off before the next jam started, and it was a lone Jess E Ska (31) jamming for GRG who forced her way through the lead DRG blockers to take another pass’ worth of points before Kim McKazi finally managed to return to the track, and the jam was called.

...and similarly having fought her way through the pack.

Jessica Rammit almost gets clean through the pack...

Dublin’s Jessica Rammit, jamming next, was obviously well aware of the need to regain the forward momentum, and looked like she was right on track to do so, powering through the pack, until she was tackled at the last second by a precisely aimed Kausin’ Kaos (311) (still attaining Lead Jammer status). In the end, GRG’s Zombilina out paced her, although failing to attain lead, such that Jessica called the jam as soon as she escaped the pack.

...but can't quite dodge a sacrificial block by Kausin' Kaos.

GRG's Peggy Su-icide's first of many falls this jam.

It would have to wait until the next jam for Dublin to truly begin their fight-back, with B A Blockus scoring for the second time this bout, thanks partly to excellent blocking from Kim McKazi knocking GRG’s Peggy Su-icide (14) to the ground, and later, Lil’ Edee (pivot) disrupting an assist from Lola Bruises (96), whilst also helping to slow the pack. By the end of the jam, Dublin were up 15 points, without even a power jam, taking the score to a more even looking

24 GRG: 18 DRG

Even holding onto Lola Bruises won't save you from Lil' Edee!

The score failed to change at all, in the next jam ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3e7nsMCDOT4 )

Zola Blood "enjoys" the solitude of the sin-bin.

with GRG’s Fightin’ Torque (531) and Dublin’s Jessica Rammit equally matched on the track, Torque calling it due to lack of distance.

So, it was left to GRG’s Zombilina to somehow conjure up another power jam in jam 7, Dublin’s Zola Blood (67) getting herself sent off trying to pass pivot Lola Bruises. With the GRG blockers eventually managing to slow the pack goating Dublin’s Dirty Knees Lou-Eez (17), Zombilina brought back another 10 points.

Dublin's Dirty Knees Lou-Eez on the wrong side of the
Maiden Grrders' wall.

At this point, both teams seemed to have finally got each other’s measure, and no jammers managed to outpace their opponents by more than a single pass’ worth of points. Jess E Ska, Torque (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3Gj03ZBp3I ), Dreaded Dragon (33), Zombilina ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LMV-QZWZAyI ) and Peggy Su-icide all picking up a handful of points for the Maiden Grrders, and Zola Blood picking up a couple in the jam against Torque.
By the end of the 13th jam, the home team had only extended their lead to

47 GRG : 22 DRG

but the general flow of the game definitely looked like going the Grrders’ way.

Jessica Rammit squeezing Torque off the track...

Things were about to start going a little better for the Dublin girls, however.
First, Jessica Rammit knocked GRG’s Fightin’ Torque out of play, and then powered through the pack, but failed to do so cleanly and didn’t gain lead jammer status. Torque exiting the pack soon after called the jam, but not before Jessica picked up 3 points.

Torque calls it!

Leeeeeaaaadddd Jammmmerr!

Consider that a warm up for the 15th jam, Jessica Rammit powering through the pack once again, but this time doing it right to attain lead jammer, and picking up 6 points before Zombilina managed to pass her and force the jam to be called.


Things looked like they were going to go all Dublin’s way in the next jam
 ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjRpLoroThk ) as GRG’s Dreaded Dragon, jamming, managed to get herself sent to the sin-bin for track cutting while Dublin’s Tina Gutt-Her and Jam effortlessly outpaced the pack to get lead jammer in a power jam. She proved less effective in passing a more determined GRG pack when scoring, however, and the pack was kept both fast and impassible for her for the rest of the jam. To crown matters, Tina finally managed to accumulate enough minors to get herself sent off right at the end of the jam, handing Jam 17 to the Glasgow team as a power jam.

Kitty Cadaver squishes Torque.

 Fightin’ Torque stepped up to the challenge, but exceptionally good defensive blocking by Dublin, especially pivot Kitty Cadaver (37) managed to keep her in the pack for long enough for Tina to escape the sin-bin, when Torque called the jam closed.
And finally, jam 18 also failed to change matters, with the jammers equally matched once more. ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WBErOhhC1Gs )
With no scores in the last two jams, the first period closed with the scores at a very close:

48 GRG : 39 DRG

The Tiger Bay Brawlers sneak in
a little half-time practise.

(Half time sees us treated to a preview of the next bout as the Tiger Bay Brawlers take the chance to warm up.)

Rusty Bullet, on her way to scoredom.

2nd Period
As play resumed, both teams were happy to play conservatively and defensively, the first two jams seeing GRG’s Torque ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c8f2nv0AcHY ) pick up only 2 pts, then Dublin’s Rusty Bullet (68) managing a single pass, not quite calling it before Zombilina also picked up 2.
With the score now at

52 GRG : 43 DRG

there was no room for any mistakes from the Maiden Grrders.

Zola Blood skates past a depleted GRG pack.

That’s just what happened in the very next jam; however, with Dreaded Dragon picking up that fatal 4th minor near the start of the jam. With the home team also down one blocker, Dublin’s Zola Blood took [DSC06028] full advantage of the opportunity, assisted by her fellow blockers slowing and splitting the pack intelligently.
With a final haul of 15 points before the power jam ended, things were suddenty looking a lot different for the scoreboard:

52 GRG : 58 DRG ! 

Rusty and Zombilina have a race.

Keen to keep it this way, Dublin were the ones to play most conservatively for the next few jams, with a neck-and-neck race between Rusty Bullet and Zombilina called by the Dublin lead jammer, then Belle for Leather eventually winning past a determined Coco Pox (pivot) (whilst GRG’s Dreaded Dragon was kept at the back of the pack by Dirty Knees Lou-Eez ), but unable to keep her feet after her first scoring pass forced to call the jam. ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2BGpQ6WgtDE ) Similarly, Peppy Nephrene only managed to pick up 2 pts thanks to an impressively fast Torque catching her up.

Fighting Torque gaining on Peppy Nephrene, like a
a very friendly missile.

Tina Gutt-Her and Jam jamming... her way to the sin-bin
(Zombilina imperturbable behind her)

With only 20 minutes left in the bout, the Grrders took a knee in the next jam, only to see Dublin’s Tina Gutt-Her and Jam slam through the pack ahead of Zombilina, taking lead jammer... just before also being sent to the sin-bin. The home team took advantage of their power jam, slowing the pack... but without lead jammer status, Zombilina was unable to stop the Dublin jammer from also scoring when she returned to the track. A narrowed lead for the away team, then, but not the reversal of fortune from the previous power jam:

62 GRG : 67 DRG

(score was initially 62:68 but adjusted down after official TO).

Belle for Leather not as far ahead of Torque as she'd like.

Rusty comes from behind, for 3.

With the lead only a single grand slam pass in size, the tension may have been getting to both teams. The next three jams saw very low scoring, Dublin’s Belle For Leather first unable to escape Fightin’ Torque, despite an initially strong DRG wall, followed by Rusty Bullet managing only 3 points in the same situation. Maidens captain Whisky Galore demonstrated how to really block someone out in the next jam, however, allowing Zombilina to finally pick up some points for Glasgow.

Whisky Galore...

...shows 'em how...

...blocking's done!

...helping Zombilina to get some much needed points.

The score now:

65 GRG : 70 DRG

Torque powers through a depleted Dublin defence...

With 15 minutes left in the bout, the tide had finally began to turn once more, with Fightin’ Torque grabbing lead jammer, and enough of a lead on Dublin’s Belle for Leather thanks to blocking from Coco Pox to score a full pass’ worth of points before calling it. (Aided somewhat by a depleted Dublin pack.

...Belle for Leather finds Coco Pox rather less lacking.

Keeping the momentum going, while the DRG pack was still depleted, Jess E Ska followed up with a modestly successful jam, scoring a vital two points before the replenished Dublin pack made her life too difficult. ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N85efqOWo0U )
With that vital pair of points acquired, the score was now:

71 GRG : 70 DRG!

Torque and Jessica staying close...

Finally, the Maiden Grrders had regained their lead, but only by the most tenuous of margins, something they failed to extend in the next jam, Dublin’s Rusty Bullet vs Zombilina or the next, a no score with Torque and Jessica Rammit evenly matched.

B A Blockus and the GRG wall...

Once again, it was down to a power jam to significantly alter the score, and Dublin’s B A Blockus was the one to provide it, getting herself minored off during an jam notable for exceptionally effective blocking on both sides. With such late power jam, GRG’s Jess E Ska only managed to score one pass; handing over to Zombilina to score more. However, Jessica Rammit (once more) and Zola Blood managed to delay the GRG jammer’s initial pass sufficiently to limit her to a single grand slam scoring, bringing the score as the power jam ended to:

Jessica Rammit limits the damage Zombilina can do.

83 GRG : 75 DRG 

After that period of excitement, both teams seemed to once again begin to find each other's measure, Fightin' Torque unable to score more than a single pass in the 17th jam, and Jess E Ska too closely shadowed by Dublin's Rusty Bullet to even do that. Despite this, the Maiden Grrders continued to increase their lead, a time-out subsequently removing 2 points from the DRG score, leaving us at:

90 GRG : 73 DRG

With little time remaining in the bout, we entered something of a repeat of the first period. Both teams being equally matched, and the Maiden Grrders in particular keen to play conservatively, no points were gained by anyone. ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQ6eK-oCsc4 , http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VV64J3pVSK8 ) (Although, in the final jam, this was something of a foregone conclusion, DRG jammer losing her wheel at the very start of the jam... ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJ75JmHOfsw ) )

With no scores for the last four jams of the bout, the final score finally called at:

90 GRG Maiden Grrders : 73 DRG 

MVPs

Best Blocker

Kitty Cadaver (37) DRG

Coco Pox (76) GRG

Best Jammer 

Zola Blood (67) DRG

Zombilina (15) GRG (well deserved)

MVP

 Jessica Rammit (<3) DRG (excellence jamming and blocking)

Whiskey Galore (11) GRG

Glasgow Roller Girls "Irn Bruisers" vs Tiger Bay Brawlers

The second bout was also something of an exciting occurrence - Cardiff's Tiger Bay Brawlers have only been playing interleague bouts since the start of the year, but have already managed some impressive performances. Glasgow was possibly the toughest challenge the Brawlers had faced yet, however, and the GRG's 'A' team, the Irn Bruisers achieved an imposing victory; the final score at 186 GRG : 58 TBB.

(However, the Brawlers probably won the Skateout, partly also by winning the boutfit contest for all time.)

Skateout link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GLob0SxWrHo

1st Period

Kid Block outpaces Lead Jammer Marla Mayhem
in the very first jam.

Despite a promising first jam; where the Bruisers’ Marla Mayhem (13, jamming) was overtaken by a lightning-speed Kid Block (40oz), denying her the points; the Irn Bruisers dominated the first period, the next four jams seeing 28 points, mainly in an impressive third jam where Mistress Malicious (99) picked up an impressive 15 points in grand slam passes, whilst the away team’s Jolly Pop (8) was kept locked up in the pack (and a power jam for GRG’s Hardcore Prawn (88mph), with Tiger Bay’s Ava Assassin (300) sent off early for track cutting http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UwrlW4Ts4E ), to none for the Brawlers.

Mistress Malicious through the pack in record time.

Jolly Pop behind the first of many GRG walls.

Hello Reeshii careens to victory!

It wasn’t until the 6th jam, with the score at 28:0, that the Irn Bruisers demonstrated anything other than total control over the track, with the away team’s Hello Reeshii (369) careening through the pack to attain lead jammer status. With GRG’s Megan Hyndman (4) in close pursuit, the Cardiff jammer was only able to pick up a single point thanks to an impenetrable Glaswegian defence led by Lucky Hateball (8), but at least it demonstrated that the Bruisers were not wholly unbeatable.

Hateball holds back Reeshii.

Marshall Lawless out for points.

Alas, it couldn’t be sustained; in the next two jams, first Marshall Lawless (42) picked up 9 points whilst Billie Pistol (44) was held back in particular by repeated blocking by Marla Mayhem; and then
Mistress Malicious picked up a single pass ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CYeKtSFMSMo ) while waterfalling and walling from GRG’s Wild Oates (3), Lucky Hateball (pivot) and Viper (29) kept Crash Bandicute (26) locked back in the pack.




 

Billie Pistol after a skate-by blocking
by Marla Mayhem

And about to happen again.

Though Marshall Lawless also suffered some obstructions.

41 GRG : 1 TBB

Kid Block about to be left in the dust by the Prawn.

A small respite again for the Tiger Bay Brawlers followed, with speedy GRG jammer Hardcore Prawn (88mph) failing to exit the pack ahead of Kid Block; although she later out-paced the TBB jammer, not having Lead Jammer, the jam was merely called.

Takin' a knee.

Back to the previously scheduled programming for jam 10, with a confident Irn Bruisers taking the knee to speed up their points acquisition, with Megan Hyndman bursting through the pack whilst Ava Assassin trapped behind an impenetrable wall of GRG blockers.
A faster pack, and more aggressive blocking from the away team saw Billie Pistol pick up another two points, tripling their previous score; whilst Marshall Lawless was restricted to a relatively restrained 6 point gain by Kid Block.

Yet another GRG wall, this time constraining Ava Assassin.

Marshall Lawless, well, blocked, by Kid Block

With the first period more than half gone, the score stood at a forbidding, but not unassailable

52 GRG : 3 TBB

Mistress Malicious in the lead again.

After another conservatively played jam, Mistress Malicious fighting her way through a determined Tiger Bay blocking to take a single pass of points, things managed to get rather interesting...

BB Bombshell does the near impossible and
out-races Hardcore Prawn

With 11 minutes in the period, an aggressively skating BB Bombshell (666, captain) managed to outpace Hardcore Prawn, although neither passed the pack legally (in fact, both experienced sequential fleeting moments in the sin-bin from accumulated minors, the close timing of the penalties restricting their cumulative effect on the jam itself). Without a lead jammer, the points scored would be determined by the effectiveness of blockers restraining the jammers from passing them; both GRG and TBB blockers proving adept at this; Prawn eventually passing the star to pivot Betty GoGo [999] to get some final points scored. Still, it was another chance for the Brawlers to show what they could do if they had the chance, with BB Bombshell actually picking up 9 points to Prawn’s 7, bringing the score to

Blocking...

...of both jammers...

but Prawn can pass to Marla.

63 GRG : 12 TBB

Crash Bandicute being victimised by the Bruisers.

Could this be the start of a resurgence of the Brawlers? Unfortunately not, with the home team keen to restamp their dominance on the track. The very next jam, Megan Hyndman powered through the pack, and proceeded to pick up a couple of grand slam laps whilst her teammates took turns blocking out the Tigers’ Crash Bandicute.

Brief surges of determined resistance were hearteningly visible in jam 15, with Marshall Lawless forced to pass the star to pivot Mistress Malicious, who did wonders with it.

Marshall Lawless on the floor, considers passing the star.

Prawn, slowed.

Ava Assassin having managed to get herself minored off at the end of that bout, after bouncing off the GRG blockers for the entire period, the next jam was a power jam. As traditional, the Bruisers deployed the rocket-powered Hardcore Prawn; but  BB Bombshell wasn’t prepared to roll over for her just yet. In the end, Prawn only picked up a single grand slam before calling the jam as it lost its Power.

Crash Bandicute breaks that GRG wall!

Perhaps the show of defiance had finally lit something of a fire under the Tigers; with three minutes left in the bout, three jams followed with no score; Crash Bandicute actually taking lead jammer in the first, only to be out-paced by Megan Hyndman, Kid Block almost repeating the trick next (but failing to get lead jammer due to unclean passes), and then Crash Bandicute repeating her success yet again ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ur_O_pfHkAA ), only for Megan Hyndman to give her a depressing case of deja vu.
At half time, things looked bad for the Brawlers, with the score now at:

Kid Block joins in the Great TBB fightback!

92 GRG : 12 TBB

although, with their rate of improvement in the closing minutes, there was still hope for them yet.

2nd Period

What the Brawlers really needed at the start of the second period was some kind of big disruption. Luckily, two power jams in a row more than doubled their score in just a few minutes, with GRG’s Marla Mayhem getting herself sent off for track cutting just after leaving the pack, behind an impressively fast Boba Fetish (32) who had already grabbed lead jammer status with both hands. Good tactical pack splitting helped Boba to pass a strong GRG wall, and the Brawlers even managed to bring the pack to a standstill, goating Lucky Hateball! This was a totally different team to the one that had been playing in the first period, and they thoroughly deserved the 15 points they brought home. ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_bskzN_V-o )

Crash, once again, cuts through that pack.

The second jam continued this huge transformation, with Crash Bandicute cutting through the pack, then Megan Hyndman giving TBB the second power jam in a row. After picking up multiple laps more points, Crash managed a clumsy block against GRG’s Sykes, getting herself sent off, and allowing Megan Hyndman back on to return the power jam favour. Good goating of TBB pivot Judge Redd (27) helped with the points acquisition, with the jam ending at:

  

Goatin'

100 GRG : 46 TBB

Mistress Malicious outpaces Hello Reeshii

If the Brawlers could continue this streak, victory might even be in their grasp. They knew it, too, taking the knee into jam 3. Initially, however, this backfired, GRG’s Mistress Malicious powering through the pack well ahead of Hello Reeshii, who also managed to get herself sent to the penalty box. It all looked like it could be heading back to the balance of power, and even Mistress Malicious getting herself sent to the sin-bin later couldn’t really reverse that feeling.

...but a later stumble sends her to the sin-bin.

With Lucky Hateball starting in the sin-bin, the Bruisers dawdled behind the pivot line in jam 4, goating TBB’s Jolly Pop until Hateball could return to the track. When Hardcore Prawn was finally allowed to actually start skating, she was content to take a single pass before calling matters.

The Irn Bruisers delaying the start of the jam proper
because they miss Hateball so much.

A rare event in the fifth jam, as GRG’s Marla Mayhem powered through the pack to attain lead jammer status, unfortunately leaving her star behind on Hell Neenio (42)’s elbow pad. No-one seemed to notice, which caused significant confusion when Marla tried to call the jam off: jammers only have their special powers if they actually have the star on their head. Once she actually got the star back, it wasn’t long before she also managed to get sent to the bin, handing the Brawlers a power jam with seconds left in the jam.  ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gNa8f_B2AEc )

Unfortunately, it was all to be for naught, with the jam called dead, and the precious 4 points acquired by Boba Fetish for Cardiff removed post facto, Marla returned to the track and so on.

So, with the score back to

111 GRG : 51 TBB

I'm sure you're all bored of GRG wall photos by now.

the sixth jam of the bout was something of a rerun. This time, Marla managed to retain her star, and the Tigers’ BB Bombshell failed to pass an imposing Irn wall, allowing the GRG jammer to rack up multiple passes before calling.

Prawn at speed, like a hot knife through something with
a very low melting point

Retaining the pace of matters by taking the knee, the Irn Bruisers played Hardcore Prawn in the next jam, effortlessly cutting through the pack to score a single pass of points (but not before TBB’s Billie Pistol, finally escaping Wild Oates and Lily Lethal’s blocking caught up with the back of the pack herself).

Wild Oates with some good positional blocking.

After a brief time-out while the referees checked the accumulated minors, resulting in GRG’s Wild Oates entering the penalty box before the jam started, the 8th jam of the period saw Megan Hyndman continue the Bruisers’ slow acquisition of point, aided by good blocking by Viper against her opposing jammer, Crash Bandicute. ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lOgi_Bn3qT0 )

Hello Reeshii about to break through...

Whilst in the next jam Hello Reeshii battled her way through the normally impenetrable GRG wall, she only managed to pick up 2 points, despite some nice pack slowing with a goated Oates.

...whilst Oates surprised by some Tiger Bay goat catching.

The Brawlers show what they've learnt about walling.

Kid Block gets sent off for track cutting.

However, it did briefly look like this could be the start of another resurgence for the Tiger Bay Brawlers, with actually exceptionally good early walling holding GRG’s Megan Hyndman back. Unfortunately, Kid Block was unable to capitalise on this, being equally well blocked out, and Megan attained lead jammer. In her haste to catch the other jammer, Kid Block managed to get herself minored off, handing a power jam to the home team. Grabbing their own goat, the Grrders were happy to help their jammer haul in the additional points. Leaving the score at

155 GRG : 53 TBB

Goatin'2

Can you spot the acrobatics by Prawn?

Obviously determined to never let the home team manage anything like that again, Hardcore Prawn found the blocking in the next bout particularly strong, and managed to get herself sent off in the process of dealing with it. Unfortunately for TBB’s Boba Fetish, the GRG jammer had managed to attain lead jammer status just before being sent to the sin-bin, so she was unable to control the jam. Eventually trapped behind one of those GRG walls, she was thus powerless to stop a returning Hardcore Prawn from scoring herself on return.

One jammer off, one without control of the jam.

Prawn returns, with those GRG walls proving BB Bombshell's nemesis once more.

Tiger Bay Brawlers keen to get going

However, Kid Block was happy to show that the Brawlers could score with the other jammer on the track, effortlessly passing the pack (starting from a TBB knee in the next jam, although unable to score more than 3 points for her team. Still, it was three more points, to no points for the home team...

Kid Block rewards their enthusiasm.

...but those damnable walls!

Obviously keen to keep up the scoring momentum in jam 13, the Tigers managed to goat GRG’s Chemikill Hazard (LD50), trying to help jammer BB Bombshell to push through the pack first. And she did, but not without cutting track and getting herself sent off. With an unexpected power jam, Mistress Malicious was happy to take advantage, with the GRG blockers also turning tables and goating Queen LaQueefah to slow the pack for their own purpose. ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZINmRgKlEDg )

Crash squished between Oates and Lily

Prawn LJ, and looking serious.

With five minutes left in the bout, the expectation was that the Irn Bruisers would be content to relax a bit, maybe waste a bit of time to keep their point advantage high. Instead, they decided to take a knee, letting Hardcore Prawn and Crash Bandicute explode out of the jam line, Crash actually taking the lead until a punishing double block from Wild Oates and Lily Lethal (5). With Prawn eventually out and with lead jammer, and Crash actually sent to the sin-bin, it looked like this could actually be another high-scoring jam for the home team. And so it began, with the pack essentially immobilised for Prawn to lap. Amazingly, Prawn then managed to get herself sent off, for accumulated minors, allowing Crash out of the box early. Obviously, things were heating up, as the next twenty seconds saw members of both teams heading off to join the GRG jammer in the box, culminating in Crash Bandicute herself.

Probably considering the stationary pack waiting for her.

Or possibly just foreboding her imminent trip to the sin-bin.

Which was soon to get even busier... and confused.

Which is where we entered one of the more obscure rules of roller derby. Whilst normally a jammer entering the penalty box causes her opposing jammer to be released, this is only true for the first time it happens. If the first jammer reenters the box, both jammers remain off the track whilst they serve their respective sentences.
It appears that this rule is obscure enough that some players don’t recall it, as confusion reigned in the penalty area until the end of the jam, Prawn obviously keen to get back to scoring points against people.

A lengthly time out followed before the next jam, with an initial attempt at a start being aborted and Prawn being repositioned on the track.
( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TuaI3Gs5-Hg )
When the penultimate jam finally began, Prawn’s heart apparently wasn’t really in it, calling it with no score after Crash returned to the track herself (although not before two TBB blockers managed to end up in the sin-bin themselves).

And so, with the score still at

186 GRG : 64 TBB

the final jam ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-0wXkxq-Lw ) Megan Hyndman, having attained lead jammer easily, was happy to keep things simple, and called things quickly as TBB’s Boba Fetish was only centimetres behind her.
So, the score was
186 GRG : 64 TBB, right?
Well, the ways of Zebras are mysterious and not for mortal men, and the Tigers had obviously offended their mortal enemies. After a longish period of consultation, the official score was finally announced as:

186 GRG : 58 TBB

MVPs

Best Blocker

 Sykes (360) GRG

Hello Reeshii (369) TBB

Best Jammer

 Marla Mayhem (13) GRG

Crash Bandicute (26) TBB (well, she did score most of their points...)

MVP

 Megan Hyndman (4) GRG

BB Bombshell (666) TBB

..
Two very different bouts for the Glasgow Roller Girls in score, but perhaps equal in passion and determination for all the teams. To the credit of the Tiger Bay Brawlers, in particular, the whole team continued fighting hard even when it was clear they would be unlikely to win. All four teams played to their utmost, and, as always, there was nothing but good feeling after the bouts ended:

..
Thanks:
Glasgow Roller Girls, Dublin Roller Girls, Tiger Bay Brawlers
The ARC, Glasgow Caledonian University, Glasgow

The tweeter behind the @TheGRG live bout tweets and the @tigerbaybrawler live tweets.

Lucky Hateball ( I assume ) for the bout programme

The announcers were: the mighty Helliverance for GRG and "Reece".

Photos and video were taken on a Sony A580 with the kit lens, and are licensed under the Creative Commons: Attribution license (free for reuse as long as the original author is attributed), as is this bout report.

All opinions and representations in this bout report are mine and mine alone, as are any inaccuracies or misunderstandings. PLEASE let me know if there are factual inaccuracies I should correct, and feedback in general is always welcome.