Bout Report: Glasgow Roller Girls Intraleague Final, Death Stars vs Bad Omens

The 7th of May saw the final of the first Glasgow Roller Girls Intraleague Tournament, featuring the Death Stars versus the Bad Omens. Previously, the Death Stars and Bad Omens had both defeated the Hells Belles (the Death Stars in a bout featuring many Bad Omens guest players for the Belles), so on first appearance this looked like it could have been a tight bout.

In the end, however, the Dark Side betrayed the Death Stars, possibly scared off by the corvids always hanging around the Bad Omens, and the Bad Omens flew home to an impressive 162:87 point victory.

Before all the skating happened, however, there was the theatre of the skateout, both teams having pulled out multiple stops to wow the crowd:

Skateout: here

And then the bout began.

After first third of the first period, things seemed relatively evenly matched, with the Bad Omens on 20 points to the Death Stars' 14, and both teams obviously still sizing each other up.

The very next jam was when it started to go wrong for the Death Stars, with three of the team (including jammer, Zombelina (15) ) ending up in the sin bin together.

Despite her usual form, however, Bad Omens Jammer Hardcore Prawn (88mph) failed to capitalise on the power jam by much, due to determined blocking by Jackash (911, pivot) and Moxie Blitz (20). Passing the star to Bad Omens pivot Betty Gogo (999) seemed to help break the deadlock, and the first power jam of the bout ended with the Omens up 14 points.

Even here, though, the Death Stars had all to play for, and effective blocking out by Viper (29) and Wild Oates (3) of Bad Omens Jammer Slain Austen (823.7) allowed Death Stars Jammer Marshall Lawless (42) to start pulling back points in the very next jam.

This blocking skill did remain consistent, however, and a strong Bad Omens wall (Tarcenic (41), Haberbashery (40), Coco Pox (76*) and Love Hurts (117) ) stopped Marla Mayhem (13) in her tracks in the next jam, and Kausin Kaos (311) blocked out the Death Stars' Fighting Torque (531) the jam after, resulting in Torque heading off to the sin bin, and a power jam for Sykes (360°). The Death Stars once again showed their determination and skill as blockers in a power jam, however, Lucky Hateball (8) and pivot Viper first knocking Sykes down, and then forcing her to attempt to cut outside - the latter causing confusion as Sykes mistakenly thought she'd accumulated enough minors to be sin-binned, only to be pulled out of the bin as soon as she sat down.

Indeed, despite the power jam, and excellent jamming by Hardcore Prawn and Slain Austin in subsequent bouts, with only 12 minutes in the first period, the Bad Omens lead was still only 45 to 18, when an official time-out was called. Some totting up of minors later, the Death Stars' Sister Grimm (57) joined the Bad Omens' Betty Gogo and Mistress Malicious (99) in the Sin Bin for the next jam.

The next jam, Hardcore Prawn proved she was back on form, whizzing through the pack despite excellent blocking by Death Stars' Wild Oates and Jackash. In her efforts to catch her, Death Stars Jammer Zombilina managed to get herself sent to the sin bin instead (perhaps she thought Sister Grimm would be lonely there), followed by Jackash just as Sister Grimm left. This time the Death Stars blocking was less effective against the Prawn, who managed to bag 12 points, despite being knocked down at least twice.

Another timeout later, the next jam started with the power jam still in effect. The Death Stars kept the speed of the pack high, with excellent coordination between pivot Marshall Lawless and Dreaded Dragon (33), requiring Bad Omens jammer Chemikill Hazard a whole lap to catch up with them, just as the pack was about to split. Even then, some dramatic blocking/falling from Lawless and more conventional blocking from Moxie Blitz held Chemikill back until Zombilina was safely back onto the track. In the end, only one point was scored!

Another timeout, providing time for photos.

Another jam, another power jam for the Bad Omens, with Death Stars' Marla Mayhem picking up minors passing Haberbashery and Tarcenic. Despite some mighty blocking from Hateball, Bad Omens Jammer Slain Austen picked herself up and tried to take full advantage (helped somewhat by some pack splitting), but failed to pass pivot Viper when scoring

This was starting to become something of a pattern for the Death Stars - excellent damage control in power jams, but too many power jams in the first place…

Still, the next jam started with the power jam in effect still, as well as most of the Death Stars blockers off the track, and with Hardcore Prawn jamming for the Omens there was every possibility of the lead being extended. And, indeed, that's what happened, with Prawn circling the track whilst the Death Stars' Marla was held back by excellent blocking from the dominant Omens (particularly from captain Lily Lethal (5) and pivot Haberbashery).

Score: 73:18

With six minutes to go, a fight back was still conceivable for the Death Stars, and Marshall Lawless fought hard for one, dodging past Betty Gogo into the lead jammer position. The Omens' Sykes, meanwhile, was given big trouble by the Death Stars blockers, including being pushed right into the crowd by Moxie, and walled in by Dreaded Dragon, Moxie and Viper.

Result: 13 points in one jam, and something that looked like a fight-back.

An official time out should have added to the Death Stars' glee, as it resulted in Sykes (as jammer) joining the Death Stars' Viper in the sin-bin for the next jam. With their first powerjam of the bout, could the Death Stars capitalise?

With Bad Omens Tarcenic and captain Lily Lethal blocking, perhaps not. The Death Stars' Torque was flung off the track dramatically as she tried to pass them, requiring a second try (and able blocking out of the Bad Omens by team mates Hateball (pivoting) and Sister Grimm) to complete her first pass. The delay allowed Sykes to come back on and end the power jam, and it was called off before points were scored.

With less than 2 minutes left in the first period, the Death Stars desperately needed to pick up their fight-back again, but Omens' Betty Gogo fought back pivot Moxie Blitz's attempt at an assisted pass for Marla, allowing Chemikill Hazard to break the assist and push the Death Stars jammer to the back again. In the aftermath, Omens Jammer Mistress Malicious slipped through the now Omens controlled front of the pack. All was not lost, as Wild Oates managed a whip and assist, chucking Marla out the front of the pack at significant velocity. In the end, the jam was called off early, Malicious being unable to score safely.

This also meant there was time (just) for one last jam before the end of the first period… With everything to play for, the Omens stuck on their star, Hardcore Prawn, while the Death Stars fielded Marshall Lawless. It looked like excellent blocking and walling would let Lawless take lead jammer easily - the Death Stars partitioning the pack and pushing Omens pivot Lily Lethal to the inner edge of the track. However, Lily proved the stronger of the two pivots, blocking Death Stars' Hateball to the ground, and breaking ahead just in time to block down Lawless too! Meanwhile, Prawn snuck around in Lawless's wake, and then between teammates Sykes and Kausin Kaos to snatch Lead Jammer out of nowhere. Safely in the lead, Prawn allowed the jam to end after picking up most of her points, making the score at the end of the first period:

78 Bad Omens : 31 Death Stars

The second period started with

Jam video on YouTube: here

Omens Jammer Slain Austen dodged a blocking attempt by Death Stars' Wild Oates (which appeared to nick her own Jammer, Marshall Lawless instead), powering to lead jammer. Mistress Malicious and Haberbashery kept Lawless back in the pack whilst Slain Austen picked up a couple of passes.

Score after a single jam of the second period:


Definitely not what the Death Stars needed; Vader does not tolerate failure.

Possibly spurred on by this, in the next jam, Marla Mayhem powered through the pack (and blocking by Bad Omens' Betty Go Go) to take lead jammer, whilst Hardcore Prawn was squished between the Death Stars' Wild Oates and Viper, blocked out by pivot Moxie Blitz twice before actually escaping the pack. Meanwhile, Marla only had problems with the Omens' Tarcenic on her scoring passes, picking up a welcome 12 points - although Prawn's tremendous speed once out of the pack let her pick up points as well.

Similarly, the next jam saw the Death Stars' Zombelina slip around the outside of the pack to take lead jammer, avoiding blocking by Love Hurts (117) and a last-second attempt by pivot Haberbashery, whilst the Omens' Mistress Malicious was blocked out handily by Jackash and Sister Grimm. More points for the Death Stars, and a sin-bin period for Omens' captain Lily Lethal.

With the score now 90:47, and still most of the second period to go, a glimmer of hope was emerging for the Death Stars once more, which continued as Marshall Lawless effortlessly took lead jammer in the next jam, as Hateball and Sister Grimm squished the Omens blockers, and jammer Sykes, out of her way. More excellent blocking on the scoring pass (although costing Wild Oates and Moxie Blitz a tumble) saw the scores further narrow to 90:56.

It couldn't last. The very next jam, despite pivot Viper's best efforts, Slain Austen slipped through to get lead jammer, aided by the confusion caused by a multiple fall - first Love Hurts in blocking out the Death Stars' Marla (jamming), then Moxie Blitz and Viper together. Proving unable to make her way past the Omens' blockers, Marla Mayhem then managed to commit a fourth minor, getting herself sent to the sin-bin, and handing the Omens a power-jam. To cap it off, most of the rest of the Death Stars also managed to get themselves sent off, at one point leaving only Wild Oates to attempt to block against a full-strength Omens. Despite valiant efforts, the results of the jam were predictable - a massive 20 points to the Bad Omens, and a distinct fading of hope for the Death Stars.

But in the most hopeless of situations is where the Death Stars apparently exult. The next jam saw the tables swing again, Death Stars' Marla fighting past Haberbashery and pivot Coco Pox to get lead jammer, while Hardcore Prawn was knocked down by the Death Stars wall (in particular, Zombilina).


All that effort resulted in 2 Death Stars in the sin-bin at the start of the next jam, and there was no way for ( Moxie Blitz and Hateball) to prevent Mistress Malicious from escaping the pack. (Returning jammer Marshall Lawless did a creditable job of taking out the rest of the pack, though… despite it sending her right back to the sin-bin)

Another official time-out, and no score for the previous jam - with Marshall Lawless returned from the sin-bin.

The next jam saw a brief glimmer of hope - only the second Death Stars power-jam, as Omens' Slain Austen got sent off near the very start. The Omens were determined not to give them an easy time of it, however, with Lawless heading for a fall from Omens captain Lily Lethal, and then picking up enough minors from blocking out by Love Hurts to get herself sent off! With the tables reversed again, Wild Oates and Death Stars pivot Sister Grimm gave Slain Austen a hard time, with Viper and Hateball taking over after Oates got herself sent off.

All that excitement resulted in another no-score jam, even after Marshall Lawless returned to play.

With only about half of the period left - about 16 minutes left in the bout - the score still remained at 114 : 63.

The next jam started looking as if the Death Stars' Zombilina would leave the pack first, with excellent blocking helping to hold Hardcore Prawn back. However, excellent blocking from Haberbashery and Betty Gogo, and a whip assist for Prawn from pivot Chemikill Hazard (LD50) saw her take the lead, and the points.

Instead, it was the next jam where the Death Stars looked initially better - Marla Mayhem having space clear for her pass by cooperative blocking from Jackash, Viper and Moxie Blitz, with Wild Oates, then Viper and Moxie, blocking out the Omens' Mistress Malicious from doing much. It all went wrong second later on Marla's scoring pass, a big tumble resulting in her entering the sin-bin, whilst Mistress Malicious outplayed her blockers (even with a leap), and much of the rest of the Death Stars joined their jammer in the sin-bin (once again, it was Wild Oates left as solitary Death Stars blocker for a period , her determination in stopping the Omens from scoring leading to her being sent off as well, to be replaced by Jackash as sole Death Star on track). Evn with Marla and the rest of the Death Stars back on the track in the second half of the jam, there was no time for them to score many points before the end. Predictably, with 11 minutes left, the score had now swung far back the Omens way, at


The next jam was a no-score - Slain Austen leaping around the outside of the pack to get lead jammer, but with no lead over Marshall Lawless, she called the jam off almost as soon as it started.

(Youtube link: here)

The next jam started with highly defensive play from both teams, Death Stars' Jammer Zombilina walled-out at the front of the pack by Mistress Malicious, Lily Lethal and Coco Pox, and the Omens' Hardcore Prawn walled out at the back by Moxie Blitz, Viper and Jackash. Somehow, however, Prawn was the first to wend her way to the front of the pack, knocking Zombilina back to the back in the process. The Omens were happy with just picking up 5 points, so they did.

Another official timeout followed.

When play resumed, the Death Stars looked like having a good jam - a failed early block against Omens' Tarcenic by Dreaded Dragon also taking out the Omens' jammer Chemikill Hazard, whilst Death Stars' Marla wended her way out the more loosely defended front of the pack. Five points only to the Death Stars, thanks to effective blocking on the scoring pass by Haberbashery and Love Hurts.

With two players in the sin-bin, the Death Stars slowed the pack for the next jam until Fighting Torque could get out, with Wild Oates also making space for Marshall Lawless, jamming, to get through (after a little tussle with Omens' pivot Betty Gogo). Unfortunately, despite scoring well, Lawless' timing was a little off on calling off the jam, and Omens' Mistress Malicious also scored, keeping the points differential still roughly constant.

With only 6 minutes to go, the next jam saw a Omens fight back, with good blocking work by pivot Chemikill Hazard and Kausin Kaos helping Hardcore Prawn take lead jammer, and holding back the Death Stars' Jess E Ska (31). More effective blocking on Prawns' scoring pass by Hateball and Dreaded Dragon reduced the points gained by the Omens, but, with 4:36 on the clock, the score stood at:

156 Bad Omens to 80 Death Stars.

The fourth last jam of the bout was a bit of a wash-out for both sides:

Preantepenultimate jam: here

Good blocking from Hateball and Sister Grimm held back Omens' Slain Austen from passing for a long while, allowing Marla Mayhem to leave the pack first… but she did so uncleanly, failing to attain lead jammer status. With essentially no chance of catching up, Slain Austen ended the jam as soon as she escaped from the pack and attained lead jammer status, with the Death Stars picking up just two points (and wiping out at the end).

The third last jam also failed to make much of an impact, despite hard work by Death Stars' Marshall Lawless in attaining lead jammer status, she picked up only a single point thanks to sterling blocking by the Omens.

Similarly, the second last jam, despite Omens Slain Austen attaining a reasonable lead out of the pack due to superior blocking from Lily Lethal and pivot Mistress Malicious against Death Stars' Fighting Torque, they failed to pick up more than a handful of points, as Slain Austen was knocked down on the scoring pass by Sister Grimm.

With just enough time left on the clock (1:10) for a final jam, the score stood at

159 Bad Omens to 83 Death Stars.

It was obvious at this point that the Death Stars had lost, but they could still go out fighting, and that they did:

Final jam of the period: here

Death Stars Marla Mayhem whipping around the track as lead jammer (with some whip assists from Jackash), despite having only two blockers on track to assist her (Jackash and Dreaded Dragon).

The final score, with that last minute fight-back:

162 Bad Omens : 87 Death Stars.

The Bad Omens were the Champions of the first Glasgow Roller Girls Intraleague … .

(But no hard feelings between the teams.)

… the Death Stars' sponsor, however, felt differently:

(We are assured that after some time in bacta tanks, the Death Stars made a full recovery.)

Finally, there's always time for a group photo (with suitable exhortation from Dave McAleavy)

*when numbers on the programme and shirts disagree, I am going with the shirts. Since Hateball is awesome, this was only a problem for Coco Pox (78 in programme, 76 on shirt), and Lily Lethal (not captioned in programme).

The photos and video were taken on a Sony A580 with the kit lens. The photographs were taken at ISO3200 due to the slow maximum aperture of the lens, so apologies for the shot noise.

No notes were taken for this bout report, so it is constructed entirely from memory and photographs / video. All errors are my own.

The Glasgow Roller Girls website is at glasgowrollergirls.com, and you should turn up to their next bout if you have the time.

No comments: